Edgy Grief & Power Questions
Edgy Grief. Why not me?
Insensitive question or something to ponder?
Why is this happening to me? Or why did it happen to him/her, the “casualty of that thing called death.”
Well, why not you? Or them? Notice the hard-hitting “edge” of this question? Sounds like a highly insensitive remark. But I call it a “power question.”
Loss and death are not personal. Loss is a season that comes around like other seasons of joy, letting go, succeeding and change. None of us are immune to it. All of us will die.
But we have this fixation that we should all enjoy cheap Friday night drinks at the lux retirement village and die peacefully mid-90’s in our sleep. It’s also uncommon to be calling death a “success” when well-meaning family and hospital staff are madly trying to keep someone alive at whatever cost.
So back to that question, “why?” It’s pointless really pondering a definitive answer as we won’t get it. Why not let’s just accept the birth, life, death cycle is gifted to us for the time, season and reason it is, and ask different questions?
What’s happening in my life that needed this “shake up?” —> end some things!
What growth can I gain in this? —> personal transformation
How fortunate am I to have it easier than others who’ve been dealt more difficult cards? —> counting your blessings and living life while you’ve got it.
But maybe it’s not about being fortunate, luckier or unluckier than others. Each soul has its life shaped by many factors. And sometimes that means we die when we die.
And then instead we could ask ourselves, why, through this loss in my life, have I just been given the chance to embrace life even more than what I’ve sometimes taken for granted.
Granted that many people don’t take heed of “seize the day while you’ve got it” despite the loss they’ve experienced, who’s the fool? It might just be their nail in the coffin.
Reflection
What questions have you asked yourself that speak into unfairness, injustice and questioning death itself?
How can you flip those questions over to realise the gains? The fortunes? The gift of life to be lived well?
