Glass Ceiling or the Sticky Cocoon
Glass Ceiling or The Sticky Cocoon
Sustainable personal transformation requires the Sticky Cocoon-breaking analogy.
Today is International Women’s Day and I am in awe of some game-changing women who’ve made impact in the world we live. But today I ponder the metaphors of Glass Ceiling vs Sticky Cocoon – a mainstay of Bold Women Speak.
This Sunday day-off morning, I watched as a beautiful fantail arrived in my yurt. She couldn’t see how to get outside, so she flew around trying somewhat frantically to find a place to land. She arrived at the window – plastic one in our yurt – but nevertheless, as she looked outside and tried to unsuccessfully fly outside, it made me think of the glass-ceiling that many women have fought hard over centuries to smash.
Currently at the early stage of developing Bold Women Speak (but with a lifetime of lessons) where I speak of the Sticky Cocoon as a catalyst for personal transformation from private grief to public advocacy, I am interested in comparing the 2 ideas. Glass ceiling versus Sticky Cocoon. So here goes.
With the Glass Ceiling, the source is invisible, (but to some highly palpable) and actually is a barrier created by external systems and organisational structure. Invisible, but perhaps actually very clearly obvious. As a woman, you have the skills to move “up” but a seemingly impenetrable forces stops you. Your goal is to shatter that barrier to gain access to a space that has been unfairly denied.
In contrast, the Sticky Cocooon in an internal transformation, where you’re no longer your old self but haven’t yet become the person you want to be. It’s palpable. Like the glass ceiling, it’s not easy by any means. But it’s a personal choice, not one obstructed by bureaucracy or hierarchy. It’s the “Monarchy” – don’t you love that metaphor? You become your own Queen, by choice.
So here’s the low-down on the Sticky Cocoon transformation process.
The Goo Phase: Before a butterfly emerges, a caterpillar literally dissolves into a biological "soup" or "goo". In human terms, this reflects the dissolving of your old identity, beliefs, and habits, which can feel chaotic, directionless, and "sticky" as you lose your original form. Grief can also throw you into this “soup.”
The Comfort Trap: The cocoon is often described as a self-made comfort zone. While it provides safety during vulnerable changes, it can become a stagnant prison if you fear the effort required to break free from the familiar.
Essential Resistance: The "stickiness" or difficulty of exiting the cocoon is, strangely enough, productive. The physical struggle to push through the small opening forces fluid into a butterfly's wings; without this resistance, it would never be strong enough to fly. Similarly, the friction of making changes builds the resilience needed to sustain your new life.
Why We Get Stuck
The process requires radical trust as you let go of the old before you even have a clue of what you’ll become. We bypass and way-lay the process often by biding time – thinking we need more of it. And on the other hand, the sticky feeling is such that we may fear that if we stay stuck in the cocoon, the world will forget us and miss out on our brilliance that could come from breaking through that cocoon.
But hey imagine if you, the caterpillar, decided not to emerge, escape or at least entertain the idea of making the first step to fly differently and become the monarch. It’s goo and yuck staying in grief and smallness, when it’s actually the invitation to gorgeousness and greatness.
If you’re currently struggling with the final push to exit your comfort zone. Then reach out to janelle@boldwomenspeak.com A growing sisterhood of women rising from grief to being heard. www.boldwomenspeak.com
