Feisty French man offers femme her voice

Who has provoked you into not just finding your voice, but in upping your inner unstoppability? 

Gratitude for people who compliment, admire and encourage us is easy.  But what about those characters in your life-story who push your buttons, are oppositional or bring your darker side into the spotlight (ooh that can look ugly!) and you’re going “sh*t, this sucks?”  And what if you’re related to that voice-activating catalyst, or perhaps, like me, even married to that person?  In my case, my feisty French man.

From a Kiwi family whose emotional tone was consistently neutral and whose family had the veneer of “looking good” on the outside, my whole life was spent people-pleasing, appeasing and keeping the peace.  Certainly not rocking boats, offering outlandish opinions or needing to defend my self-worth because of someone’s dislike of me or difference to them.  I rarely had run-ins with people, because “good gals” keep earning “brownie points” over admonishments, don’t they?

But, voila. Enter stage-left 13 years ago, came a highly opinionated, confident French man onto my life’s stage.  A solid, ex-Rugby-playing, warrior Spirit, he has an unbreakable sense of self.  His cultural roots also shout “revolution”, rebel and speak up, and he certainly is a force to be reckoned with.  In fact, I was attracted to those endearing qualities.  But….

Feeling the pinch daily, his well-meaning comments, opinions and “feedback” often land for me, a super-sensitive soul, as criticism, rejection or judgement.  My wounds get opened, my defences and shackles go up and many times, rage has come out, not loudly but under my breath. But this dynamic of sensitive soul meets feisty Frenchy, has been an unexpected invitation to claim my self-worth. My Spirit too has become activated and feisty.

I have escalated in speaking up, defending myself calmly, expressing myself with more confidence and valuing my needs, wants and ideas.  This has often been with fear in my boots, but I’m dancing more these days with the delight of emerging self-worth and sass, despite the trepidation. It’s a daily choice.

People-pleasing, appeasing and keeping the peace is no longer my “go to”.  Rallying my rebel, revolutionary and radiant inner confidence where nothing topples me is my day-to-day challenge that I rise to.  

Merci mon amour. Gratitude to you!

Give a shout out to someone in your life who has provoked, fuelled or even pushed you into finding your voice.  Let us know your story!  In gratitude to them even if it’s been rough!   (link to emailing me)

And should you want to learn how to speak up with more confidence, come join me/us at Sassy Sisterhood.)  (link to email sign-up)