Shrinking Violet or Sunflower?
It takes both violets and sunflowers in this world to make an impactful garden of change.
Imagine a delicate violet flower bending away instead of standing tall. Let’s call her the shrinking violet. Can she too speak up about her difficult lived experiences and what change she wants to see in the world when her norm is to be somewhat shy, timid, modest and reluctant to be the centre of attention or someone seeking recognition?
Sounds ironic doesn’t it. But I believe a shrinking violet can be an advocate and be impactful.
At a recent event Advocates Rising that I facilitated, 12 “gritted women” who had been through darn difficult life changes and challenges turned up. A great start showing they were at least part of a “garden.” Many felt a degree of strength, but with reservations and tendency towards shrinking violet.
When we looked at what stirred them, but also what slowed them in speaking up and creating some well-needed change in areas where they had suffered, many were shy, modest and certainly not wanting to attract attention with a common theme being they didn’t feel qualified enough. Here were some other common and familiar traits:
Avoiding public speaking or feel like they don’t have the skills to speak up.
Feeling nervous about stating their point of view that may feel confrontational.
Hesitating before sharing their vulnerable story for fear of “bringing it all up.”
Scared they will be judged, ostracised or shamed.
Not valuing their hard-earned wisdom and feel they lack credibility or training.
What we know is this. These women had been through the storm where they didn’t shrink. They had to stand tall despite the odds. But it was the expression of that was a showstopper for many of them - with public speaking advocacy feeling formidable and scary, whilst also feeling the inner stirring to make some change in their family and community.
For centuries, the violet flower has represented humility, modesty, innocence, and quiet beauty throughout European culture. Artists and poets frequently used violets to symbolize people who possessed gentle personalities.
Taking a leaf out of that book, us girls at the afternoon looked at more creative, more easily accessible avenues of advocacy and getting their message and story out there that didn’t require them to be sunflowers when they’re violets.
Writing song lyrics and singing at an open mic night
Creating art and exhibiting it and its message
Blog writing, journalling
Sewing and “wearing their message”
Sitting in circle with others and storytelling
Researching important data to support the change they want to see
Volunteering for the cause where they can make a difference
If your “personality” is often one of shrinking violet – be proud. Your beauty comes in being low-lying and getting the work done quietly and creatively. It does indeed take both violets and sunflowers in this world to make an impactful garden of change.
How are you being called to creatively speak up? Let’s get specific and drop me a line and we can bespoke some magic together.
