Pious Prayer vs Pastoral Care

Pious Prayer versus Pastoral Care

“Pious” is a one-word understatement for an Easter Mass I stumbled across today on my first day in Sydney.  It happens to be Easter Friday.

My heart screamed as we were led around the 12 stations of Christ – full of liturgy, repeated Hail Marys, The Lord’s Prayer recited 12-fold re sins and trespassing, and bended knew upon narrow seats that could hardly fit the man two along from me.

But sitting next to me was a beautiful woman.  I could sense her pain. I saw her disillusionment.  I knew inner turmoil made her feel, not just uneasy in the piousness, but also avoidant in the presence of her husband who was “doing everything Catholicly correct” but who I sensed had an over-arching impact on her. That word “overarching” is perhaps kind, and hopeful above what else that might mean.  But perhaps he too was suffering whatever they as a couple are currently experiencing. We never often know.

During the hour-long mass, I listened to nothing of the repetitive ritual. I instead prayed reverently for this woman and relief from whatever her pain was. 

Don’t we need more pastoral care, people connection and passion running through our veins, than what I witnessed in the church today?  Nobody looked lit up.  Nobody sang.  Not a soul seemed to be looking out for their “neighbour in Christ. 

Yet the world is in pain. We’re all in pain.  So, piousness, in my books, also having been brought up in a  church, is not the remedy for our pain.  Deep connection is.  With our inner spirit, with our spiritual family and definitely with the women sitting next to me…. And to you.  And whoever you bump into today.

Instead of getting on bended knee to empty space, start standing up and seeing people eye to eye, voice to voice, heart to heart….and soul to soul.  It takes a simple conversation and a listening ear.

Today after 40 minutes of hanging out in a beautiful cathedral full of people, but lacking Spirit and people-to-people pastoral care, I left before the sermon. I couldn’t bear to think how shallow it was going to be.  Instead, I leaned over to the woman and said this.

“You have taught me more in this time sitting next to you than anything in this service.   I see you in your pain whatever that is.  And here are 3 words – on the back of my card- that you may need to hear today. “Bold Women Speak.”  We are also women who take another woman with us.

I trust she got comfort from that and finds her voice and the balm for her soul’s pain.

Bring back pastoral care of each other.