Feeling invisible made me the Visible Advocate
Feeling Invisible made me the Visible Advocate
The roar of the Mother Lion for her cubs
Mum was a servant of Christ. She sought out lost souls to help. She served well and others prospered from her assistance and care.
For a sensitive soul like me however, who needed emotional connection like oxygen, I felt starved of mother’s attention that was beyond teaching me to cook, sew, play the piano, tap dance and attend churchly gatherings of which there were mountains.
What did I do to get my fix of oxygen that would soothe my soul and feel like motherly protection, guidance and nurturance – all vital ingredients in being mothered? I became a perfectionist, a good little girl and a model scholar. I kept churchly pure, not straying from the roots.
I also became painfully thin – skeletal in fact – but even that got zero attention. I ran away overseas to find my wings, which I did, but that deep search for “someone who had my back” was not found in those travels.
And as an adult, having gone through numerous losses, life changes and longing moments, I’ve had few advocates, so have learned to become my own. I hardened up, got resourceful and relied on self. Few milestones were shared. Successes remained my own. Becoming outspoken was granted, as I had no need to impress others or fit others’ model of acceptability. I became sovereign, one might say.
This blessing of being “unblessed with emotional nurturance” has fuelled my fire and burns through my veins to stand behind others who feel invisible or small – cheering them on, seeing their greatest potential, giving them shout-outs and connecting them with what and who they need to thrive.
A mother lion who fiercely looks after her cubs. That’s me.
What a blessing. My advocacy of others gives my own experience of invisibility a visible expression. The threads of my life, doing it largely on my own, are woven into my skillset and fire – to help women have a voice – to be seen, heard and valued, not to mention making a valuable difference in this world. Roar…….
Check out my Advocates Rising event - you may not be in Wanaka, but hey we’re putting together an online Advocates Rising Community so make sure you’re on our email list.
